Finding Calm and Confidence During the Holidays
With holidays just around the corner, do you find yourself feeling a mix of anticipation and anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. The good news is that there's still time to prepare! In this post, Jacey Breedlove, M.Ed., LPC-Associate (supervised by Kerry Williamson, MA, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST), shares how she helps clients navigate family dynamics with calm, confidence, and self-compassion. If you could use a few practical tools to manage this season with more peace and balance, keep reading - or reach out to connect with Jacey today!
The holidays are a time that can bring both joy and stress. Many people look forward to time with family, yet it can also stir up anxiety, guilt, or tension. Between unspoken expectations and the pressure to keep everyone happy, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs.
In therapy, we can work together to explore what makes this season challenging for you and use tools from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and values-based therapy or boundary work to help you feel more confident and grounded.
In therapy, we can work together to explore what makes this season challenging for you and use tools from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and values-based therapy or boundary work to help you feel more confident and grounded.
When Family Time Feels Complicated
Even in loving families, old roles and patterns can resurface quickly. You might find yourself people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions. These reactions make sense — our nervous systems often remember family dynamics long after our minds do.
In our work together, my hope is that we can help you slow down, understand what is happening internally when a specific reaction is triggered, and then practice new ways of responding that align with your values rather than responding out of old habits or guilt.
In our work together, my hope is that we can help you slow down, understand what is happening internally when a specific reaction is triggered, and then practice new ways of responding that align with your values rather than responding out of old habits or guilt.
Using DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
In therapy, we can use tools from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help you to navigate family dynamics with clarity and confidence. These tools aren't one-size-fits-all — they’re meant to help you identify what feels most important to you in any given situation. Sometimes that means prioritizing connection, sometimes prioritizing your peace, and sometimes finding a balance of both. None of those choices are selfish, they're about finding what is right for you and your specific situation.
One of the tools we might practice in our work together is DEAR MAN, a step-by-step approach for expressing your needs clearly and calmly. It stands for:
One of the tools we might practice in our work together is DEAR MAN, a step-by-step approach for expressing your needs clearly and calmly. It stands for:
- Describe the situation
- Express how you feel
- Assert what you need
- Reinforce the positive outcome
- (stay) Mindful
- Appear confident
- Negotiate as needed
Together, we can practice what it looks like to use this skill in real-life situations, whether that’s saying no, setting a limit, or asking for what you need.
There are other DBT tools as well, like GIVE (for maintaining connection with kindness) and FAST (for protecting your self-respect). In our work, we can explore how each of these skills fits your personality, values, and priorities so you can find what feels most authentic to you.
Clarifying Your Values and Boundaries
Before heading into time with family, it can be helpful to reflect on questions like:
In therapy, we can identify your core values and how to honor them in relationships. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re acts of kindness — to yourself and to the people you care about. When you're clear on what’s most important to you, it becomes easier to say no with confidence and yes with intention.
- What truly matters to me this season?
- What boundaries will help me feel safe and grounded?
- Where do I tend to overextend myself?
In therapy, we can identify your core values and how to honor them in relationships. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re acts of kindness — to yourself and to the people you care about. When you're clear on what’s most important to you, it becomes easier to say no with confidence and yes with intention.
A Different Kind of Holiday
As we work together, you can begin to approach family dynamics from a place of emotional regulation rather than reactivity. You may still experience uncomfortable moments, but you’ll also have tools to stay grounded, express yourself clearly, and protect what matters most.
I offer individual and couples therapy at our North Austin office, and if you’d like support practicing these skills and creating new patterns in your relationships, I’d be honored to walk with you. Together, we can build more balance, connection, and peace — this season and beyond.
I offer individual and couples therapy at our North Austin office, and if you’d like support practicing these skills and creating new patterns in your relationships, I’d be honored to walk with you. Together, we can build more balance, connection, and peace — this season and beyond.
Jacey works with individuals and couples navigating relational and intimacy challenges, anxiety and depression, trauma, grief, and life transitions. She draws from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples strengthen connection, and uses insight-oriented work and practical strategies in her work with individuals to support growth and healing.
If you would like to meet with Jacey or another ALCS counselor, please contact our office. For specific questions, you can email Jacey at jacey@abundantlifecounseling.com.
If you would like to meet with Jacey or another ALCS counselor, please contact our office. For specific questions, you can email Jacey at jacey@abundantlifecounseling.com.
Posted in Blogs by Jacey